


My Heart Beats for U

by sash4kyu (emotional_fool)



Series: Anaxiphilia [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Character Death, Deaf Character, Disability, Friendship, M/M, Major Illness, Platonic Relationships, Suicide, alternative ending, please read at your own risk, there is seriously lots of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-13 09:58:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9118657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emotional_fool/pseuds/sash4kyu
Summary: Kai is mute & deaf. Kyungsoo wants to be a singer, the only thing he lacks is a Heart. Kai gave his heart to him, literally.[COMPLETE]





	1. Final

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on Feb 2015.  
> This story is the closest to my heart so i thought of sharing this here for the coming new year. I hope it receives similar love here as well despite being a sad story.
> 
> My reason to write this as a platonic story was to portray how true friendship is one of the most selfless relationship in the world. Your family and lover are related to you in a way but a friend is the only one who from a complete stranger becomes your life support.
> 
> This story is dedicated to all my friends and i want to take the role of kai for you all :)  
> It has an alternative ending, a happier one, too which i will post tomorrow i.e. on New Year's Eve. And a complete Sequel which will be posted in 2017. <3
> 
> Please do not reupload anywhere else.

 

#### My Heart Beats For U

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

Kai was sitting by the large window in the cafe’s corner staring at the florist shop across and mindlessly doodling over his notebook.

 

Everything was silent even if the cafe was bustling with teenagers who just finished their school hours.

 

He opened the window and let the cool breeze ruffle his bangs and inhaled the fragrance of fresh flowers, carnation his favourite.

 

Meanwhile Kyungsoo was at the counter, taking orders and handling drinks looking in his direction every once awhile and giving a warm smile.

 

Kai would smile back before turning his attention back to people around, carefully observing their actions and mouths, trying to read their lip moment.

 

Kai  was deaf since birth and after his parents passed away in an accident when he was two he turned mute, mostly by initial trauma and afterwards by choice.

 

He moved to his grandparent's house where he met Kyungsoo for the first time when he was three and the elder four.

 

Initially he was afraid that the elder will mock and bully him like the other kids in his previous neighbourhood. But Kyungsoo was different, the minute he saw a small timid kid getting out of the car that evening years ago he gave a bright smile thinking he would get a new friend.

 

And that’s exactly he got, a new friend, Kai.

 

Soon he learned the younger couldn’t speak nor hear but that never bothered him. His smile, eyes, his touch was so expressing that he didn’t need any words to communicate, according to him.

 

Kyungsoo don’t know when he started learning sign language but over the years he did but didn’t get to use it much since Kai mastered lip reading before he turned seven.

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo loves to sing, he wants to be a famous singer because that was his mom’s dream. She died when he was five because of brain tumour.

 

The only regret Kai has is he can’t hear him sing because he “knows” his voice is beautiful just like his heart. He makes it up while watching him practice, how he closes his eyes shut in concentration, cranes his neck upward, how he can see his veins pop and Adam apple bob when he grooves a note.

 

It’s breathtaking in his view, the passion Kyungsoo has makes kai feel guilty and sad and mostly angered.

 

He does not have any passion, even not a hobby, he does not know what to do with his life except observe people and see kyungsoo try so hard.

It’s unfair he thinks, how he who don’t need  it has it and while someone else like Kyungsoo who could do so much more with it lacks it.

 

He wished Kyungsoo had a heart, atleast one which would survive long enough for him to fulfil his mom’s wish.

 

 

He suffers from CCHD complex congenital heart defect, which is a combination of four defects. He was born with it but the symptoms were so acute that his family never took it serious. They thought his overweight to be the cause of his breathlessness and chest pains.

 

It was much later in his teens when doctor confirmed the disease. Doctor said “Rarely babies are born with multiple defects that are too complex to repair. I am sorry to say that your child is one of them. He needs heart transplant.

 

since then his father has been contacting every hospital in every country possible for a suitable donor but to no luck. Either the blood does not match or their high risks of heart rejection.

 

This delay has lead to many situations when they all thought they lost him whenever he fainted or suffered light strokes.

 

It was that dreadful day when he watched Kyungsoo collapse in front of him in the cafe cluthing the shirt above his heart tightly, that something snapped within him.

 

When they rushed him to the hospital his doctor clearly strained by his condition informed them if he didn’t get a donor soon, his life will be in danger.

 

“His life will be in danger”

 

Those very words kept repeating in Kai’s mind when he finally made the decision.  It’s not like he never considered it but every time he would ask Kyungsoo to take his heart he would be replied with a “Don’t be silly Kai” .

 

He can’t hear, can’t speak there is no one apart from his old grandparents, who will sooner or later pass away too and he will be left alone completely and if Kyungsoo too...

 

If he can save him, if his heart is suitable enough then maybe, maybe there is hope that he will live, will become a famous singer and will  accomplish his deceased mother’s last wish. The idea of his heart getting rejected by elder’s body never came into his mind.

 

His parents left him enough fortune to last his entire lifetime, and he never thanked them more for it than in the current situation. An intern has agreed to run tests on him to know if he can be a suitable donor for Kyungsoo.

 

Reports will come three days later and during that he has to find a way to donate his heart when he is still living without any chronic disease.

 

After two days and two nights of thorough research without any ounce of sleep he finally found a way.

 

Kyungsoo was worried about the younger, he hasn’t seen him in the cafe for past two days and when he went to see him he had huge eyebags and his face looked thinner.

When he asked though, kai merely shrugged and wrote “I watched movies whole night” .

 

With an amused smile and a blow to the head, he lectured him and made him some food to eat. They spent the whole day together lying on the couch and watching SpongeBob episode marathon.

 

He wished life could be this peaceful, even without him hearing a word and Kyungsoo never listening to his voice, even with all the silence that surrounded them they never felt awkward like they were destined to meet and to be best friends and now his heart is destined to beat for Kyungsoo.

 

Reports came earlier that day, it said Positive.

 

He was standing at the poolside. A memory flashed by of when they were little and used to dip their feet in the cold water while letting the cool breeze ruffle their bangs.

 

He took out his cellphone and dialled for ambulance before entering into the warm water and submerging himself into it.

 

 

With warm water, cerebral anoxia becomes irreversible between 3 to 10 minutes. Consciousness is usually lost within 3 minutes of submersion. the struggle for life with rising and sinking of the body goes on for a variable period, depending on the vitality of a person, until he remains submerged. Convulsive movements then occur, followed by coma or suspended animation and death.

 

 

 

“Do Kyungsoo”

 

“Yes”

 

The doctor led him into his office, what followed it made him stunt. There in the hands of his doctor were the documents for his Heart donor, signed underneath by Kai.

 

Kai is brain dead. The ambulance reached him before he could die but not before the oxygen supply to his brain completely shut down and his brain stopped working.

 

Kai’s heart is suitable for transplant, their blood matches and after inspection it’s highly doubtful that his body will reject the heart.

 

Kyungsoo does not know what to do. Kai does not know how to swim so why would he go into the pool, moreover who called the ambulance because no one was home at that time.

 

And when did kai agreed to be his donor.

 

Then in a flash he sees kai’s face asking him to take his heart with a serious tone.

 

He broke down in the hallways.

 

There was no sound, only tears strumming down his face as he sees Kai’s body getting wheeled to a private ward.

 

That day he found a note on his bed.

 

“Take my heart, hyung”

 

The End

 

* * *

 


	2. Epilogue

 

 

_ 5 years later.. _

 

While fixing his tie, Kyungsoo asks “How do I look?? Does this tie go with my attire?”

 

Getting no response in return, he huffs “ Stop playing with your phone and look at me Kai”

 

After a deafening silence he thumbs the corner of the large frame giving one last sad smile and turning around to leave his room. Just before he shuts the door though he turn around to look at Kai”s frame one more time on his bedside table muttering a slow “I wish you were here today” .

 

 

Later that night in one of the broadcasting studios

 

“So Mr Kyungsoo, how does it feel to receive ‘Best Singer Award’ “ the MC asks him in a live interview.

 

“It feels great for sure, the dream me and a lot others who worked hard for finally paid off” he answers with a charming smile.

 

“Your speech was very touching and many of the viewers are curious to know about the person you mentioned, if you don’t mind” she asks hesitantly.

 

“Kai” he stops for a second after saying his name out loud.

 

Sensing eyes on him he continues “ Kai is my best friend, we have known each other since forever. He is the one who kil....”

 

He stops mid sentence composing himself “ who gave up his life for me.”

 

Loud gasps could be heard all around the hall as he continues with teary eyes and cracked voice “ I suffered from complex congenital heart defect from birth. I needed a heart transplant to survive but never found a suitable donor. I would have possibly died in a few months if Kai wouldn’t have donated his. But that’s the thing, he was alive and healthy so after inspecting that his hear matched mine he...”

 

He trails not able to complete his sentence as a single tear roll down his cheeks.

 

“ I am sorry to hear about this. We can move to next segment if you would like to.” MC says with an understanding nod.

 

“No, i want people to know who made me what i am today, the person because of whom i am here breathing and in front of you all” he assures with a tiny smile.

“ He couldn’t hear by birth and never spoke by choice. He always said he lacked a passion like i has for singing. I never would have imagined that will become the reason for his death. He drowned into his own pool and was declared brain dead 5 years back. Before doing that though he prepared the documents for donating his heart for my transplant. 4 years ago he was declared dead.”

 

He could hear loud gasps, slow murmurs and some choked sobs from the audiences and staff.

 

“I have never heard of someone like Kai. He must have been a really great human being” MC says after composing herself from sudden heartbreaking story.

 

“He was. He is. I don’t know what made him do this. But i am thankful and sometimes a lot more guilty too for taking away someone else’ life for my selfish dream. If i could turn back time i would have gladly welcomed my death if it meant saving his. I miss him and i wished he was here today with me celebrating but i know he is out there somewhere watching me and maybe feeling proud of me.” He ends while staring out the window at the night sky.

 

“ How did you cope up with him gone” she couldn’t stop but ask

 

“It was difficult at first. I even refused to undergo transplant surgery thinking that i should die too. Only after when his grandmother convinced me that his sacrifice would go in vain if i didn’t lived and achieved my dream i decided to live. “

 

“ Live for him not myself.”

 

“ So here i am with Kai’s heart beating inside me fulfilling my dreams because that’s what he wanted ”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on [TWITTER](https://twitter.com/sash4kyu) and [ASKFM](http://ask.fm/fangirl26_) .


	3. Bonus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The timeline of this chapter is before the actual story timeline. I hope there was no confusion.  
> This bonus was just an insight to how kai's childhood was, and how close kaisoo were that made kai take the decision he took.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE : I DON'T SUPPORT BULLYING, IT'S A HORRIBLE THING TO DO. AND I ABSOLUTELY STAND AGAINST ENDURING & AVOIDING SUCH ACTIONS.  
> please ignore any mistakes.
> 
> The alternative ending will be added tomorrow.

 

 

 

Kai is ten now. Although school is not his most favourite place, he will be here rather than being cramped inside the house with no one his age. It helped greatly that his only friend, Kyungsoo goes to the same school too.

 

It was no difficult for his grandfather to meet the principal personally and get kai enrolled with the promise of generous amount of donation. One thing that kai didn’t understood though was students no lack in interest about his “disability” even after five years.

 

He knew when he asked about going to school that he will face a lot of bad things because of how “different” he is than other kids. But he has successfully avoided any big mishappenning for last five years.

 

Frequent shoves, curses, getting teased and laughed upon was nothing out of normal for him after one year only. It bothered him and it does even now but not all were this hostile to him. There were students who were nice to him too, even helping him with classes or standing up for him. The teachers tried to shield him as much as possible but he doubted it had anything to do with protecting a student and more with protecting _him_ because of his grandfather’s favours to the school board.

 

And then there was kyungsoo, sticking to him like glue most of the time and it was rather funny to watch a small socially awkward kid trying to intimidate those big bullies with his large wide eyes which made him look more cute than scary.

 

But it was the thought that counts. If not for the older boy, he wouldn’t have survived a week here.

 

This year was different though. There was a new transfer student. Rumours were he was kicked out of his last school because of excessive bullying and causing havoc.

 

And like everyone else, kai caught his eyes quite soon. Initially it was nothing he didn’t suffered before and so used his best technique, avoidance. After a year of getting victimised when he first enrolled in the school, kai realized there is nothing he could do to change their minds. So he started avoiding them and if he did encountered he simply ignored their words and actions. Not a brave move but smarter it was, at least he guessed it was.

 

But getting ignored didn’t settle well with the new bully. He wanted a reaction, most probably fear in the eyes of his victim. And no matter how much kai was all for avoiding and ignoring, he was never one to show fear, not to anyone.

 

That itself brought him to his current situation. They are in the hallways. Lunch break is about to get over and he was just turning a corner to get back to his class when a hard shove landed him on ground. It was not enough apparently as a hard punch landed on his stomach that knocked the breath out of him.

 

Everybody was watching the scene, some with gaping mouths, some with disgust, some others who were enjoying the show. But nobody came forward this time. Kai couldn’t blame them. Who would like to go against the scary bully for him? And that’s why he closed his eyes to prepare for the pain that will shoot throughout his body as his bully is about to kick him hard.

 

But the blow never came and he opens his eyes with a startle as he feels a gentle touch on his arm and his name being mouthed by a very familiar face. Kyungsoo is kneeling beside him after pushing the bully aside with all his might. Kai just stares at the boy, his saviour. But before he could do anything else his bully is on his feet once again and practically lifts and throws kyungsoo hard on the wall. The small boy lands with a loud thud and screams in pain.

 

As he see his friend on the floor with tears of pain sliding down his face, something snaps within kai and he feels like some kind of power gets inside him as he pulls himself together and stands up against his bully.

 

The evil spawn has a decency to smirk at him while nodding at the sprawled figure of kyungsoo on the ground.

 

Kai so badly wants to wipe that smirk off his face and does not hesitate for a second and launches himself on his attacker.

 

Caught off guard the bully staggers back and falls with kai on top of him giving him blow after blow. Kai is punching the living daylights out of him and no amounts of prying hands to make him release the boy are able to stop him.

 

Only when he catches the glimpse of kyungsoo still withering in pain he gets up, gives one last kick to the boy on floor and marches towards his friend. He carefully lifts kyungsoo up and starts towards infirmary ignoring all angry glares from teachers and principal alike. He will deal with them later; now what all he cares about is the boy in his arms.

 

 

* * *

 


	4. Alternative Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This does not hold for the sequel. It's something that i came up an year after i originally posted the fic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year Everyone. I wish 2017 to be a better year than 2016. ^^

 

 

He was standing at the poolside. A memory flashed by of when they were little and used to dip their feet in the cold water while letting the cool breeze ruffle their bangs.

 

He took out his cell phone and dialled for ambulance before entering into the warm water and submerging himself into it.

 

With warm water, cerebral anoxia becomes irreversible between 3 to 10 minutes. Consciousness is usually lost within 3 minutes of submersion. the struggle for life with rising and sinking of the body goes on for a variable period, depending on the vitality of a person, until he remains submerged. Convulsive movements then occur, followed by coma or suspended animation and death.

 

He is about to step into the pool when there is a faint beep sound. His instant reaction is to ignore the text and go ahead. But the thought of kyungsoo texting him and whatever the text reads being the last word the older ever told him, makes him step back and walk towards the towel on which his phone is lying.

 

Sadly it’s not kyungsoo, but the intern’s number. He does not know what makes him open up the chat but he does. And the words that are peering back at him has his heart stopping.

 

“I found a donor. Please don’t be dead. God damn it!”

 

He has no idea for how long he stood there frozen but the sound of sirens have him recoiling back to present. There are paramedics rushing inside his home. And they all are looking at him initially with shock and then anger. None of them amused at Kai making the prank call. He vaguely remembers one of them saying that they are letting him off this once but to expect Jail Time next time it happens.

 

He wants to tell them the truth and for a moment he even forgets he can’t exactly tell them. He is still clutching the phone a little too tightly after they are gone. He finally comes to his complete senses after few minutes and dials the intern’s number.

                                                                                                      

“Do Kyungsoo”

 

“Yes”

 

“How do you feel? Is your new heart treating you well?” his doctor asks him as part of his routine follow up

 

“It is going fine. I feel a little different. Like suddenly i like candy and pink outfits” and he makes a face that peels out a laughter from the normally stern surgeon.

 

“I am sure that’s just you probably. But if you feel anything even remotely alarming, call up the hospital ASAP. Okay!” the other nods in understanding and the doctor continues with his examine.

 

 

As soon as he steps out from the room, he is engulfed in the familiar warm embrace, his thin frame nestled between those strong arms.

 

You okay, hyung! kai enquires as soon as he steps back from the embrace, to which the older smiles fondly and ruffles his hair which has the younger pouting like a kid.

 

I am okay. Kyungsoo signs back to ensure the younger.

 

Kyungsoo will be thankful to that intern, Yixing, for the rest of his life who not only saved kai’s but his own life too. Yixing told them how he wanted the money kai offered him to save his mother from the clutches of his abusing stepfather. She was in China and he wanted the money to bring her here. But as soon as he realised what kai was planning to do, he wanted to help and save both of them. He called up all his fellow medical student friends and asked to check up for a possible donor. He called them up every hour in order to not miss any recent donor. And finally he found one. He was so happy but scared to hell to think if he was too late. He had a bad feeling about kai, and when the later told him how he was about to drown himself when he got his text. He burst out crying and hugged the younger, sobbing in his arms full of relief for like fifteen minutes or so.

 

It took kyungsoo more than a month to finally look at kai and not have his heart torn into pieces because of all the sadness mixed with guilt, relief and gratitude. He occasionally still beats up the other for his reckless decision.

 

They still haven’t breached the topic and had THE TALK about all what kai did and they don’t think they can for awhile. But for now they are good with how both of them are safe and within each other reach, alive and mostly happy.

 

He is more happy for kai because the younger finally found a passion of his own. He didn’t know where the younger disappeared to most of the mornings. So when one morning kai asked him to accompany him somewhere, he was curious more than he let on to be.

 

And no words could describe the feeling when he saw kai dancing, no, floating in air in front of him. There was music but he couldn’t hear it. Not when all he could hear was his own heart beating frantically inside his chest. Maybe that’s what kai was dancing to as well because his heartbeat and kai’s moves were perfectly in synch.

 

_It felt like they both were pieces of the same puzzle, that fits perfectly together._

 

**` THE END  ` **

 

* * *

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> This was not planned and its unbeta'd so please ignore all the mistakes. I just realized that maybe i overlooked some things while i wrote this story-
> 
> firstly, my intention was never to display that people who are deaf or mute as somebody who lacks passion or the desire to live. It was specific to only this story and to only this character.
> 
> Secondly, this story was solely about friendship. I wanted to depict how we, who are all normal and healthy always complain about how life is so unfair to us, and at first instance of any problem whines about how its oh all so difficult for us. and then there is kai, who selflessly gives his life to save someone who is very dear to him. He didn't had to. He could have pitied himself like we do but he was brave, he was brave enough to do something like this.
> 
> Thirdly, i felt very bad to make you all cry so here it is, a happy ending that you all wanted.


	5. Sequel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please note - Sequel follows original ending and not the alternative one. Enjoy ~~

 

Sequel is up. 

Fate - Chansoo [  <http://archiveofourown.org/works/9208319/chapters/20886035>  ]

**Author's Note:**

> You can contact me on [TWITTER](https://twitter.com/sash4kyu) or [ASKFM](http://ask.fm/fangirl26_).


End file.
